Seventieth Post
Jet lag is almost done so I will make a post about China. I will divide things into sections to make it easier to read. I believe that it is complete now, so you can read it. If you read it before it was complete, then you will have to re-read the section on places I went to see all the famous monuements I peed on.
Clothing in China
In cities everyone wore modern western clothes, but in the country they would wear older styles that you would see in older Chinese movies. No one wore silk clothes though. People there seemed to like to have English writing on their clothes regardless of what it said. Some examples of things we read were elephant, yellow, 100% dance, and fcuk. Also, most people in China do not really care about whether their clothes are see through.
Buying stuff in China
Wow everything is uber cheap! You have to know stuff so that you do not get ripped off though. First, you can haggle prices and ask for discounts down to half or sometimes even one third the price. It helps if you know the language, do not seem interested in the product, note that it is made in China(so they know that you know the price should be WAY less), and are not white. Another important thing to know is that 8 Yuan is 1 dollar. Also, only buy from little market stalls. Malls and nicer looking shops overprice their items by huge amounts, but little stalls give you a fair and good price, and you get to help the poor shop owner more. Higher tech items such as cell phones are cheaper in America so don't buy high tech things there.
Walking around
We did a huge amount of walking at first before our family members arrived with tour busses and stuff. There is always someone trying to sell you something during the day or someone begging for money. After our family came we only walked around at night. We did this because we could only shop at night since the whole days had been incredibly busy. Unfortunetly at this time, many shops close. Also, there are much more homless begging for money. NEVER give them money though or they might send the whole city following you if they are dishonest. Also, these are a large amount of females at night trying to sell you "massages." I wonder what they are really trying to sell...
Traffic laws
Traffic laws sort of do not exist in China. Only on HUGE streets are traffic lights obeyed. anywhere else and you can see cars going on the bicycle lanes, sidewalks, and sometimes even on the wrong side of the road sort of like Alex. When crossing the street you need to wait for there to be a break in cars and run across regardless of where you are (J walking is ok) and you need to do so even if the red hand is on a walking sign. Once I ran across the street near the curb but far enough to be J walking and when there was the red hand. A cop was standing next to me, but they are use to that and do not really care. Crossing the street is fun and just like Frogger, except real! Also, you only get one life unfortunetly.
Food in China
Amazingly everything in China tastes good. Even crap food like plants taste moderately good. While in China I made sure to eat sea cucumber, snake, and dog. Sea cucumber tastes like meat except it has the texture of jell-o. Snake is like chicken except better and softer, but there is not much meat at all and too many bones. Dog was good. It tasted like chicken except sort of chewy. Unfortunetly for some Dutch, I did not see any Taco Bells or Tacos at all.
Places I saw in Beijing
Forbiden City and Palace
A huge city that probably costed too much to build in ancient times. The walls were probably a bit shorter than the walls off of Age of Empires 2, but probably thicker as well. They looked like the stone walls, but may have been fortified walls. The city was probably larger than Soreline if the palace is included. When we went there we accidentally took some back route and did not have to pay to get into the garden. we found out this when leaving the garden and seeing people paying to get in. while there we also saw a wedding with a dragon costume with people that danced in it. We went to the palace twice. Once on the first day and then again when our relatives arrived on the next day. I made sure to pee at this historical monuement.
Temple of Heaven
Looks sort of like the Chinese wonder from Age of Empires 2 if I remember how the wonder looked correctly. We limbed the stairs to see the devices used in rituals by the emporers to ask for favorable conditions to do things such as harvest crops and build the empire. The temple was awsome but we had to hurry not to miss the show. In the proccess of hurryin we skipped the bathrooms unfortunetly.
Acrobatics show
In this show people did things that were impossible and also did things that should kill them. there was one where a guy held a board and there was a cilinder on that board and another guy holding 3 people while rolling on a a board that was on the cilinder, and then another guy was on a cilinder and board except instead of holding people he caught a platter, several bowls, a spoon, and a fork thrown at him using his head only.
Imperial Tomb
I am pretty sure that I went to the bathroom here, but I can not remember doing so. Anyways, the Imperial tomb was a tomb that was huge and had several items made of solid gold. The king of the tomb really liked hats and had a large amount of strange/awsome hats for evey occasion. He sort of reminds me of someone, but I don't know who...
Great Wall
We visited a section of the great wall and climbed almost to the top. We ran out of time at the second to last tower (there were about 14 towers). The wall was long, but sort of short and thin. The first two tower areas were filled with out of shape tourists, and it slowed us down so much that we could not make it to the top. after the second tower though, only healthy tourists and locals remained. I relieved myself here at the lower part of the wall, but I was one tower away from the upper bathrooms! grr!
Kung Fu show
A short story about a Shaolin monk and his training. in the show we saw a guy get stabbed with real spears (spears that could stick into pieces of wood) and not die. The spears were less lucky since they broke from being pushed too hard into the guy being stabbed. Also Bricks were destroyed on him while he was on a small nail bed. The last thing done in the kung fu show was breaking multiple steel bars on his head.
Summer Palace
The Summer Palace was basically a five star prison and a vacation area for royalty. It was huge and my father and grandfather decided to become lost for a while. While there we almost took a picture of the family bankruptcy rock and lost all of our money from the curse! Our tour guide stopped my supersticious parent's just in time. It had a huge lake for growing pearls that the Empress Dowager used to put on her and then eat. I bloody forgot to pee in the bathrooms here! I might not get another chance in my life. It feels horrible
Beijing Opera
Short skits done in an ancient time period with cool costumes and high pitched voices. Traditional and expensive entertainment. Everyone but my grandfather was bored while watching it.
Places I saw in Meixian (pronounced May(like the month)shen)
Chang family house
An ancient house of my family. It was really big and had an area for traditional activities. It was partially destroyed during the Cultural Revolution, and was incredibly run down from age. It would be a great house to live in if restored though. I did not see any bathrooms here.
Cemeteries
Went to visit the cemeteries of my ancestors. One was on a forest on a long path. It was put there because the area was auspicious, and it was forgotten until my grandfather found it and ordered a path to be made.
General's Garden
A huge garden and gaint lake used to commemorate a great general that I know only a small amount about. I think he might have unified China or something similar to that. I made sure to leave my mark in the bathrooms here.
Places I saw in Kounming (pronounced: coon(as in racoon)ming(as in Yao Ming the basketball guy))
Stone Forest
A huge area with stones that look like trees. They exist because the place was an ocean until later, and the erosian caused strange rock shapes to form. It was crazy though. The two types of bathrooms looked like something from the future. One was some strange waterless toilet (that did not smell bad like the ones here) where all your waste would be captured in a bag and the bag would close and a new one would be formed. The other toilet was a hole that had a river flowing through it and a television for you to watch.
Expo
A strange place. There were sections in the Expo for every province and first world country other than America. The sections were gardens based off of each country, so the Netherlands section had a windmill.
Cultural Show
An Awsome crazy show, all in Chinese unfortunetly. Food was also served. A little too much food, but everywhere we went did that. We bought a DVD of the show, but it does not include all the talking from the announcer.
Pet Market
Any animal you want could be bought here for a great price. It smelled bad though. We did not buy anything since bringing back live (or dead) animals is a little illegal.
Old Kounming
Ancient buildings sort of like my family's ancient house. Most are used as shop houses now.
Clothing in China
In cities everyone wore modern western clothes, but in the country they would wear older styles that you would see in older Chinese movies. No one wore silk clothes though. People there seemed to like to have English writing on their clothes regardless of what it said. Some examples of things we read were elephant, yellow, 100% dance, and fcuk. Also, most people in China do not really care about whether their clothes are see through.
Buying stuff in China
Wow everything is uber cheap! You have to know stuff so that you do not get ripped off though. First, you can haggle prices and ask for discounts down to half or sometimes even one third the price. It helps if you know the language, do not seem interested in the product, note that it is made in China(so they know that you know the price should be WAY less), and are not white. Another important thing to know is that 8 Yuan is 1 dollar. Also, only buy from little market stalls. Malls and nicer looking shops overprice their items by huge amounts, but little stalls give you a fair and good price, and you get to help the poor shop owner more. Higher tech items such as cell phones are cheaper in America so don't buy high tech things there.
Walking around
We did a huge amount of walking at first before our family members arrived with tour busses and stuff. There is always someone trying to sell you something during the day or someone begging for money. After our family came we only walked around at night. We did this because we could only shop at night since the whole days had been incredibly busy. Unfortunetly at this time, many shops close. Also, there are much more homless begging for money. NEVER give them money though or they might send the whole city following you if they are dishonest. Also, these are a large amount of females at night trying to sell you "massages." I wonder what they are really trying to sell...
Traffic laws
Traffic laws sort of do not exist in China. Only on HUGE streets are traffic lights obeyed. anywhere else and you can see cars going on the bicycle lanes, sidewalks, and sometimes even on the wrong side of the road sort of like Alex. When crossing the street you need to wait for there to be a break in cars and run across regardless of where you are (J walking is ok) and you need to do so even if the red hand is on a walking sign. Once I ran across the street near the curb but far enough to be J walking and when there was the red hand. A cop was standing next to me, but they are use to that and do not really care. Crossing the street is fun and just like Frogger, except real! Also, you only get one life unfortunetly.
Food in China
Amazingly everything in China tastes good. Even crap food like plants taste moderately good. While in China I made sure to eat sea cucumber, snake, and dog. Sea cucumber tastes like meat except it has the texture of jell-o. Snake is like chicken except better and softer, but there is not much meat at all and too many bones. Dog was good. It tasted like chicken except sort of chewy. Unfortunetly for some Dutch, I did not see any Taco Bells or Tacos at all.
Places I saw in Beijing
Forbiden City and Palace
A huge city that probably costed too much to build in ancient times. The walls were probably a bit shorter than the walls off of Age of Empires 2, but probably thicker as well. They looked like the stone walls, but may have been fortified walls. The city was probably larger than Soreline if the palace is included. When we went there we accidentally took some back route and did not have to pay to get into the garden. we found out this when leaving the garden and seeing people paying to get in. while there we also saw a wedding with a dragon costume with people that danced in it. We went to the palace twice. Once on the first day and then again when our relatives arrived on the next day. I made sure to pee at this historical monuement.
Temple of Heaven
Looks sort of like the Chinese wonder from Age of Empires 2 if I remember how the wonder looked correctly. We limbed the stairs to see the devices used in rituals by the emporers to ask for favorable conditions to do things such as harvest crops and build the empire. The temple was awsome but we had to hurry not to miss the show. In the proccess of hurryin we skipped the bathrooms unfortunetly.
Acrobatics show
In this show people did things that were impossible and also did things that should kill them. there was one where a guy held a board and there was a cilinder on that board and another guy holding 3 people while rolling on a a board that was on the cilinder, and then another guy was on a cilinder and board except instead of holding people he caught a platter, several bowls, a spoon, and a fork thrown at him using his head only.
Imperial Tomb
I am pretty sure that I went to the bathroom here, but I can not remember doing so. Anyways, the Imperial tomb was a tomb that was huge and had several items made of solid gold. The king of the tomb really liked hats and had a large amount of strange/awsome hats for evey occasion. He sort of reminds me of someone, but I don't know who...
Great Wall
We visited a section of the great wall and climbed almost to the top. We ran out of time at the second to last tower (there were about 14 towers). The wall was long, but sort of short and thin. The first two tower areas were filled with out of shape tourists, and it slowed us down so much that we could not make it to the top. after the second tower though, only healthy tourists and locals remained. I relieved myself here at the lower part of the wall, but I was one tower away from the upper bathrooms! grr!
Kung Fu show
A short story about a Shaolin monk and his training. in the show we saw a guy get stabbed with real spears (spears that could stick into pieces of wood) and not die. The spears were less lucky since they broke from being pushed too hard into the guy being stabbed. Also Bricks were destroyed on him while he was on a small nail bed. The last thing done in the kung fu show was breaking multiple steel bars on his head.
Summer Palace
The Summer Palace was basically a five star prison and a vacation area for royalty. It was huge and my father and grandfather decided to become lost for a while. While there we almost took a picture of the family bankruptcy rock and lost all of our money from the curse! Our tour guide stopped my supersticious parent's just in time. It had a huge lake for growing pearls that the Empress Dowager used to put on her and then eat. I bloody forgot to pee in the bathrooms here! I might not get another chance in my life. It feels horrible
Beijing Opera
Short skits done in an ancient time period with cool costumes and high pitched voices. Traditional and expensive entertainment. Everyone but my grandfather was bored while watching it.
Places I saw in Meixian (pronounced May(like the month)shen)
Chang family house
An ancient house of my family. It was really big and had an area for traditional activities. It was partially destroyed during the Cultural Revolution, and was incredibly run down from age. It would be a great house to live in if restored though. I did not see any bathrooms here.
Cemeteries
Went to visit the cemeteries of my ancestors. One was on a forest on a long path. It was put there because the area was auspicious, and it was forgotten until my grandfather found it and ordered a path to be made.
General's Garden
A huge garden and gaint lake used to commemorate a great general that I know only a small amount about. I think he might have unified China or something similar to that. I made sure to leave my mark in the bathrooms here.
Places I saw in Kounming (pronounced: coon(as in racoon)ming(as in Yao Ming the basketball guy))
Stone Forest
A huge area with stones that look like trees. They exist because the place was an ocean until later, and the erosian caused strange rock shapes to form. It was crazy though. The two types of bathrooms looked like something from the future. One was some strange waterless toilet (that did not smell bad like the ones here) where all your waste would be captured in a bag and the bag would close and a new one would be formed. The other toilet was a hole that had a river flowing through it and a television for you to watch.
Expo
A strange place. There were sections in the Expo for every province and first world country other than America. The sections were gardens based off of each country, so the Netherlands section had a windmill.
Cultural Show
An Awsome crazy show, all in Chinese unfortunetly. Food was also served. A little too much food, but everywhere we went did that. We bought a DVD of the show, but it does not include all the talking from the announcer.
Pet Market
Any animal you want could be bought here for a great price. It smelled bad though. We did not buy anything since bringing back live (or dead) animals is a little illegal.
Old Kounming
Ancient buildings sort of like my family's ancient house. Most are used as shop houses now.
posted by blitzmoose at 3:07 PM
3 Comments:
Sounds like you had fun. Now that everyone is back, some SC should pick up....hint hint.
your spelling throughout the entire entry was good. except, then I noticed your horrible mutilation of the word "cemeteries." I cried a little bit.
To prevent future and further crying, I will fix the word.
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